Sometimes loss is about acceptance…

The stages of grief are universal. Trust me when I say that death is not just for loved ones.

Three years ago, my more than10-year PR career became a job.  Sorrow was etched on my face and in my jaunt as I was forced to leave my office and join a cube farm. The privacy every writer deems necessary to create, to write, to think flew out of my now windowless coop.

Anger reared its head quickly as I purposefully turned in assignments late and half-heartedly. “What’s the problem?” I was asked. Honestly, I didn’t know. I didn’t understand that I was hurting, or may be I couldn’t accept the loss of my career for what it was…death. I suffered in silence because the salary was decent; silence lead to isolation and overeating.

I began bargaining with God everyday. “Father, if…” became my mantra.

I became depressed when God answered my prayers. Why? Because leaving an unsecure job with benefits definitely was not the answer I was expecting.

Honestly, I’m still depressed over my career, but I am smiling, joyful and scared as I daily accept that I am on a new journey to be a published novelist and screenwriter.

Acceptance is the final stage of grief and while I’m not totally healed, I’m well on my way. Thank you Father.

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2 Comments

  1. February 17, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    I can completely sympathize. They cut me loose back in November, and while my income isn’t NEARLY as good now (thank heavens I have a wife with a stable job), I can’t tell you how much more nerve-wracking satisfaction I’m getting through moving toward an illustration career. Who knows how long it will take, but I was so depressed for the last 4 months that it’s pretty much burned me out on (most) design work. Time to buck up and get that dream job I put off in my early 20s.


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