Sometimes loss is about acceptance…

The stages of grief are universal. Trust me when I say that death is not just for loved ones.

Three years ago, my more than10-year PR career became a job.  Sorrow was etched on my face and in my jaunt as I was forced to leave my office and join a cube farm. The privacy every writer deems necessary to create, to write, to think flew out of my now windowless coop.

Anger reared its head quickly as I purposefully turned in assignments late and half-heartedly. “What’s the problem?” I was asked. Honestly, I didn’t know. I didn’t understand that I was hurting, or may be I couldn’t accept the loss of my career for what it was…death. I suffered in silence because the salary was decent; silence lead to isolation and overeating.

I began bargaining with God everyday. “Father, if…” became my mantra.

I became depressed when God answered my prayers. Why? Because leaving an unsecure job with benefits definitely was not the answer I was expecting.

Honestly, I’m still depressed over my career, but I am smiling, joyful and scared as I daily accept that I am on a new journey to be a published novelist and screenwriter.

Acceptance is the final stage of grief and while I’m not totally healed, I’m well on my way. Thank you Father.


Fear and loathing in Mississippi…

Yesterday ended week one of Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred challenge. I lost one pound, but most importantly I lost my fear of doing hard-core exercises. Let me explain.

Like a lot of individuals, I do the same exercise nearly everyday. Good for the heart, but not for weight loss (at least, not in my case). My three-mile daily walk wasn’t moving the scale or changing my measurements.

The 30 Day Shred incorporates endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility. It only took one workout for me to realize doing only cardio was not enough. Last week I could barely touch my toes, complete 20 seconds of jumping jacks, or do five pushups with perfect form. Day one meant dusting off a pair of three-pound weights and struggling to complete a minute of static lunges with a bicep curls.

On Day 7, I could do a minute of jumping jacks and jump rope, and I traded the three-pound bells for five pounders.

In three days I advance to Level 2 of the challenge and I’m ready ‘cause Level 1 is getting easy. Whoa, did I just write that? Yep, I did. Sure, the next level will be tough, but I’m not afraid. Are you?

I wondered: Who am I most like? Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda?

I skipped Super Bowl XLVIII and watched the “Sex and the City” marathon on E! Admit it, you still love Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.

The funky spunk episode!!! The marathon was great, although I could’ve done without the constant “Keeping up with the Kardashians” adverts. Next Sunday, Kanye pops the big question. Just in case you missed it, Kim said yes—again. I’ll skip the show, and wait for Kanye’s post divorce album. It will be epic!

In honor of Kim’s third trip down the aisle, I wondered: “Is it really so hard to find the right one?” Carrie didn’t snag Big until season six. Charlotte searched for love for years before finding hairy Harry. The career-minded, slightly Type A, and extremely cynical Miranda eventually found love with Steve. Samantha was the only one to not find true love.

As I re-watched the finale, I realized SATC wasn’t just about sex. It was about great sex and relationships. And, “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”

Seems I was wrong about Samantha. She always knew true love started with loving yourself, “And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”


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